Not Everything’s A Tragedy
My name is Bonnie Rodriguez, and I’m 20 years old. I was raised in the lower east side of San Antonio, and I was taught by my mom and “dad” (who changed often). I come from a family of alcoholics, drug dealers/users, gang members, convicted felons, and murderers. I come from a family where it’s okay for a man to put his hands on a woman. I come from a family that hates when you try to be something more. I come from a family that loves to see you fail. I come from a family where completing the 8th grade is the standard of success. I come from a family where no one thinks they’re worthy enough. I come from a family where being educated in all areas is a disgrace to your kind. I come from a family that thinks beating your kid is the only way to get through. I come from a family where government assistance is the way of life. I come from a family of instability and inconsistency. I come from a family that thinks it’s okay to have sex at 13. I come from a family where you have to be strong because anything else is weakness. I come from a family that thinks it’s okay to take advantage of a child for sexual pleasures. I come from a family that will leave you fending for yourself no matter what age, to go party since they didn’t get to because they had you too young.
Because those were the standards, I was removed from my home and put into foster care at age 7. Foster care wasn’t the best experience. I dealt with abuse physically, sexually, and emotionally. I’ve been in 14 homes due to some of those reasons as well as my own doing. I was told a lot of things were wrong with me mentally because of my past. I was taken to counselors, therapists, and psychologists to help me “cope” with my issues and was diagnosed with different disorders, so they placed me on 5 to 6 medications. They made me feel no different, but when I tried to speak about them not being effective, I was ignored or given a higher dosage. I didn’t have a voice in care because I was just a kid and my opinion didn’t matter. I was treated like a project instead of a human being. When no one wanted to deal with me, I was admitted into mental institutions for residential care or doped up.
I know not all homes are this way, but most in my case were in it for the money. They didn’t care, so I ran away at 15 to go and find my mom. I met with her and my 5 year old sister, and I thought since time had gone by, maybe my mom had made some changes in her life, but things were still the same. She said I could stay with her, but I had to stay out of the way and put food on the table. I didn’t care – I was just happy to be with her. I wanted her to love me so bad that I was willing to do anything to make her proud. Before I knew it, I was snorting cocaine for bonding time and being told that I was going to have to find a way to care for my sister because she had “better” things to do. She introduced me to the life of prostitution, and before I knew it, she was sending me off with a man. I didn’t want that lifestyle, but she told me that if I loved her I had to so I could put food on the table and clothes on our backs. I endured because of my innocent baby sister. She didn’t deserve to suffer for my mom’s poor choices. All that came to an end when CPS came again and took my sister and me. They didn’t know all of what was going on and how I got into prostitution.
I ran away again after my sister got placed with her aunt. I sofa surfed and started living recklessly. I didn’t feel I could function without my pills, so I started taking whatever I could get my hands on. I found stability at one of my good friend’s apartment. She let me stay with her until I got on my feet. While with her, we partied hard. We were doing heavy drugs like cocaine and hydro. We popped all sorts of pills, drank until we blacked out, and we were even selling ourselves for fast cash. We had her 1 year old baby to take care of and $600 rent, plus bills. I hated life and what I was doing, so I tried to commit suicide for the third time. I was sick of feeling confused, unworthy, lonely, degraded, and unloved. Even though I was getting attention and hearing “I love you’s” from strangers, it meant nothing because I knew it was all coming from being caught up in the moment. I was afraid at times to be with these men because I knew I was putting my life on the line working that kind of lifestyle. I realized at that moment that after the drugs wore off, the partying was over, and I was alone, I still felt empty inside. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t escape the pain. I would let no one into my heart because I had been hurt enough. I became numb and hard hearted.
I thought changing my environment would help me get myself together, so I left San Antonio, and a door opened up to go to Gary Job Corps. I went to Job Corps with hopes of a better future and a new life. Little did I know things were going to get worse. It ended up being a big joke. It was nothing like they told me it would be. It was just like being on the streets again. I could score drugs whenever, even get staff to help bring it in. I found myself in the same cycle again, except it made me think what I was doing was okay since everyone around me was doing it. I admit, at the time, I loved being there because it supported what was okay in my eyes. Deep down though, I really wanted to change but didn’t know where to find it.
I got involved with a man I met through a friend, and he came in my life at an unexpected time. It started off different than other relationships. He didn’t want sex but wanted to know me, the depths of me, he said. He made me feel like I was the most beautiful person he knew. Being gullible, I let him into my heart, pouring everything I had to offer into him. Things were perfect until one day he turned into a completely different person. Everything changed. He put his hands on me, talked ugly to me, and I allowed it because I was afraid to lose him. I thought he was the best I could get. We stayed on that level for a while, and again, my heart was broken. I held onto him tighter when I got the news about my mom overdosing on heroine. I couldn’t handle the pain, so I doped up more and numbed myself in any way I could. One night, I saw my whole life flash before my eyes when I had a gun held to my head asking if I was ready to die. This man that I thought loved me was willing to kill me. I was confused. He asked me if I loved him, and if I did, I needed to do as he said. He told me he was a pimp, and he wanted me to work for him. I couldn’t believe that everything I was trying to get away from had followed me. I agreed to do what was asked to live to see another day. I felt like I had nothing to lose anyway since everything had already been taken away. I was living a double life as a student and then a prostitute. I knew I couldn’t get out of this one. I was trapped because he had too much information about me not to go back. I got myself through telling myself this was my life and I had to accept it. It was hard to pretend I was happy at school so no one would ask questions, but everything took a toll on me after a while and I got into depression. I cut off my friends that tried to help and school really didn’t matter, but I needed it not to have to live with this man 7 days a week.
I was aware of God and heard He could help people, but it was never something I cared to want to get into. I had always prayed about stuff and asked for His help with things but never got a response. I thought God was mad at me so He was punishing me. I didn’t really sincerely cry out to God in brokenness until my 18 year old brother was killed. I told God I needed His help to tell me what to do because I had no more strength to fight. I told Him I gave up and was tired. I cursed Him and said what my heart felt and bawled. My circumstances didn’t change, but I felt I had a little bit more strength and hope to keep going. I was going to be okay, something said. Two months later, everything I was doing at school caught up to me. They were kicking me out, and I had nowhere to go but to the other life I had. I knew that wasn’t where I wanted to go, so I didn’t tell him I was being kicked out. I was worried that I’d be homeless. I ended up going with the man I worked for. I stayed about 3 weeks, living minute to minute, until God mysteriously put this woman I met at a mall in my life who helped me get away from Him. I went to this temporary “Christian” home that was supposed to help me find Jesus, but it ended up being a cult. One morning I asked God to either give me the strength to make it through there until something else opened up or remove me anywhere else because I needed a break.
That same day, God came through, but I thought it was luck at the time, and I found In Triumph. I was expecting this to be another pit stop, but little did I know this was the break I’d being trying to catch for a while. As soon as I got there, I was welcomed and served, which I found weird at first. I thought these people were weirdos. They were so friendly and smiled a lot which I was not used to. I felt comfortable, which I found odd. As I lay in bed that night, I asked myself, now what? I felt a peace come over me and fell asleep. I was expecting the smiles to drop and the drama to start but they didn’t. Days turned into weeks and things were still the same. I felt at peace there but still kept my guard up. The Orta family truly wanted to help me with no motive, which I thought was too good to be true. I mean, seriously, who takes in people from all walks of life and puts them into their house? It sounded crazy to me. I just had a hard time believing they just wanted to help. There was no motive besides telling me about Jesus. I thought to myself, “Here we go again.” It was different, though. Every time I’d catch myself saying, “What if he’s right, but how do I know he’s legit and what he’s saying is true?” Everything was backed up by scripture, and it wasn’t twisted. I knew this place was different when it felt right inside, and there was no confusion. I loved that they weren’t hypocrites, and I got to see them every day and how they lived like they said Jesus wanted us to live. This place led me to Jesus two months later, and my life has changed better than I could have ever imagined. Nothing was ever forced – it was a choice I made for my soul.
Jesus has changed my life in every way. He’s given me the strength to forgive, the heart to love, the joy to enjoy life, the family I’ve yearned for, and the peace of mind, true love and comfort I’ve searched for I found in Him. I’m so blessed God saved me from myself and forgave what I thought could never be forgiven (my sins). He’s given me faith to hold onto through his Word. He’s given me true happiness on earth, as well as a spot in His kingdom. It may not seem like much, but I’m content and humble where He has me and will remain grateful until it’s time for something new. I’ve learned that I’ve created my best result and it almost cost me my life. I want to be the woman He’s called me to be and no matter where I end up, I know it’s where I’m supposed to be, and I’ll continue to praise Him. My life isn’t butterflies and lilies now. I struggle like everyone else. The only difference is I know I’m not alone, and I know Who’s in control. I’m letting the old Bonnie die, and the new Bonnie with the Spirit of Jesus live. “I thank God for His saving grace!” Ephesians 2:5.
The Gospel Campaign
In Triumph has been dedicated to the commission of feeding, clothing, sheltering and displaying the gospel of Christ to homeless youth for over a year now. Since its inception, In Triumph has provided a sanctuary for troubled youth to begin the process of regeneration in their physical, emotional and spiritual lives. God has honored your prayers and support and recently we have seen the provision of a 30-acre ranch with facilities that we are renting for our students, who range between the ages of 17 and 24. In this rural setting, the students have an opportunity to separate from their dysfunctional, often violent surroundings and decompress, free from influences of destruction. Many of these young people have experienced tremendous personal tragedy; some of them have suffered because of foster care inadequacy and a severe dependence upon psychiatric medications. Others are victims of sexual abuse, emotional neglect, abandonment, even parental
murder or suicide – to name just a few. Yet, because of the powerful presence that Christ has always been to the least of these, the lost here at In Triumph have had a difficult time denying that the Son of Man could set them free.
In Triumph provides an extensive investigation of the Scriptures, which gives the young adults an opportunity to count the costs of Christianity and discipleship. This approach stirs the environment and creates a context for spiritual counseling and biblical guidance. Many times this has led to forgiveness and repentance in the young adult’s life.
In Triumph has engendered an additional program for those who are keen to learn more about their faith. Residents are given the opportunity to enroll in a leadership academy, and in this program students explore the depths of systematic theology and Christian apologetics. At the same time, the academy strives to foster the kind of entrepreneurial spirit we often see expressed in the world of creative arts. We are convinced that this practical and scholarly training will only reinforce the teaching of the Gospel in our communities.
We have accepted no government grants, nor have we asked anyone in our network for funding. For over a year now, God’s provision has been made manifest through the sacrifices of a few believers who have felt a spiritual responsibility to invest productively in the mission field of our own country. Occasionally our utilities have been disrupted for a short period of time due to lack of funds and last year we experienced an eviction. However, God has never let us down and we have seen the unique way in which he provides the perfect provision at the perfect time. His gracious hand has not only supplied our physical needs – it has also fanned the flame of faith throughout our household: we truly know that God still delivers His people!
Since the beginning of In Triumph, I have received a fair amount of advice about fundraising. I have been advised that appointing a board of directors could help to raise money, some of whom might be regular financial supporters of the project. I have also been told that I could gain exposure by emphasizing my former music career. But as I prayed this over and asked God for guidance I did not feel that this was the right path for me. I can now see that if I had taken matters into my own hands I might have been robbed of an amazing opportunity: the opportunity to see God take a mustard seed of faith and multiply it beyond our wildest dreams. He has used this time of waiting and trusting to build my faith, and I am excited to see how he will continue to build us all in faith in the coming years.
For those of you who have been apart contributing, thank you for being the hands that God has used to bless us and help us meet our most basic needs! To continue to contribute or to be involved with us for the first time, you can access In Triumph through our website. We are always so excited and grateful to have partners who share in our desire to see the youth of America brought to Christ. Please contact us at any time, we would love to hear from you!
In Christ & In Triumph,
Pete Orta
doulos
Darrian Howard
October 7, 2010
My name is Darrian Howard, I am 19 and I’m from Social Circle, Georgia. My life before Christ was rough. I grew up with a single mom along with my brother and sister. I was raised in an extremely rough environment – lots of drug dealers, drug addicts, gun shots at night, house parties, really corrupt. I received my first charge when I was nine for stealing this man’s wallet. After then, I became very skilled in stealing, especially in stores. At the age of 14, I was introduced to marijuana. I started smoking it a lot. I had become fairly addicted to it and I just had to have it. I had become really skilled in boosting from years of stealing so I could support my habit. I was introduced to alcohol at 15 because it was so easy for me to get it. I soon became an alcoholic.
From then my life started to get worse and worse. I was in the county jail within a week of my 17th birthday. At age 17, I started selling crack cocaine. I had stolen a truck and a motorcycle. A part of a violent gang, I stole car parts and tons of cell phones from Walmart. In 2009, I started my year off in jail for underage alcohol consumption and disorderly conduct. I got out on bail, and I was so caught up moving around boosting that I missed my court date! While being out, I had also received a citation for shoplifting. I was going to turn myself in on the citation date. I went and my warrant hadn’t shown up, so I was given probation. A few months later, I received a loitering charge. I had to go to court for that while waiting for my warrant to show up also.
So I was walking around selling pot one night, and I was thinking over my whole life. I was an alcoholic – I dropped out of school – I was about to do some time – I had come to a dead end
and just lost hope. I was in complete desperation! So I looked up and I said “God, if you are real, save my life. I want to do right, but I don’t know how.” I was very sincere when I called out to Him. The day after, someone stole my drug money, so I couldn’t get any more to sell. A day or two later, another drug dealer ratted me out to the police. They searched my Mom’s place but found nothing. I was drunk, so I was locked up. I had two more charges stacked on. While in the police car, I was crying out to God, literally wailing in total anguish for God to save me. I went to jail like most people and picked up a Bible, but I wanted something more than just religion, denomination or church – I wanted to know – was God real and did He still do the miracles that are written in the Bible? I was in jail a month reading the Bible a lot, doing all I could to please Him, following His promises, trying to be obedient. My faith in God started rising just reading. Things started to make sense. I felt so much peace, love, and joy that after a while it didn’t matter to me that I was in jail. I had a cool relationship with God – He had already changed my life while I was in jail. I felt like a new man.
My court date came up and there seemed to be no way I was going to get out. So I wanted to be obedient to God and have faith to see if He does what He says He does. So the judge called me up, and he only saw two charges, disorderly conduct and underage alcohol consumption. He immediately charged me with six months, but through prayer and scripture and faith in God, I wasn’t discouraged at all. I said to myself looking at him, “God is greater than man and I asked Him – could I get out,” with no doubt that God would come through. My probation officer told him that those weren’t the only charges that I had – I had another folder of five more charges, plus revoking my probation twice. The chances of me doing only 60 days were almost zero, let alone getting out the same day. So the judge sat and read the charges for a moment and just looked at me really crazy and hesitated and said, “Darrian Howard, how would you like to get out today?” He said that he was going to dismiss my current probation and fines and give me one year of non-reporting probation on the count that I left the the city for a year. I was so overwhelmed and happy to know that God was real and that He does what He says He does that I couldn’t help but tell everyone that I had seen!
I prayed hard that God would send me to a place where I could learn more about Him, a place that I would never fall away from Him. So I was really patient and I knew that He was going to do it. So about a week after getting out of jail, not knowing where I was going to go, I went to this new Christian arcade that came to our town, and I gave my testimony to about 200 kids – some knew who I was. While I was there, I told the owner’s wife I had to leave town, and I had nowhere to go, and she gave me a weird look and asked me if I could go to Texas the next day, would I go? I told her that I had no money to get there. Two days later, Pastor Pete called me up and said he had no money to get me there but to pack in faith, so thirty minutes later, he called me back and said, “God just moved for you quick. I don’t know who but someone just sponsored you a ticket to come out here.” I left the next day. I could see God’s hand in everything that I had experienced, beginning when I called out to Him in desperation. He not only changed my worldly life, He has given me a brand new eternal life in heaven. I wouldn’t know who or where I would be if it wasn’t for Jesus Christ saving my life. To Him alone goes all the glory.
Suffering
It’s been awhile since I last wrote to you. God has been working His will in us as a family. When He called me to bring the homeless youth of America into our home, the two things He instructed of me were to tell my story, and not ask for money. As I’m walking through this, the stories of what God is doing are amazing. Yes, you can live in America and still experience miracles! With the lethal virus of the prosperity gospel running reckless throughout our American churches, I thought God instructed me not to initiate financial support so that people would know I had no ulterior motive, or perhaps I thought it was His way to keep me focused on Him as my provider, not man. While that may have been the case then, God’s purpose always runs deeper than we know. I want to share with you what I’ve learned this far. I hope it encourages you to pick up your cross and chase Jesus.
We run out of food at times and are always close to getting evicted out of the place we live. I’ve been on the phone with many of you as meals where becoming thin and, as the earthly needs of my own children were not being met, but never said a word. And during these times, my family and our teens that God has brought into our lives, remain so grateful for what we do have. During my prayer time in the past, I would always focus on myself and my own family. I’m not saying this is wrong, but let me persuade you to make a shift in the way you might be accustom to seeking God. The deepest part of God’s heart is suffering and aching for his people. The kids here have been through suicide attempts to prostitution and the pain is enormous. It is no wonder God is calling us to know His heart and to know what grieves Him. Many times we think we are also “suffering with Christ” because we are dealing with repercussions and consequences of choices, or the anxiety we feel as we run short on funds at the end of the month. But this is not what it means to suffer with Christ. I am talking about taking on the suffering of someone else’s life and carrying the burden of another person’s pain. God wants us to take on burdens that are bigger than our selfish concerns and sacrificially give of ourselves to them. This is the only way we will ever touch the depths of our Father’s heart. He weeps for the pain of the lost and His heart aches for the less fortunate. God didn’t want me to ask for money to prevent me from becoming the next gospel whore, he did it it so that I would find the depths of His heart.
We have so many needs since we walked away from our income to chase the unwanted of the world. But it’s through our sacrifice and through the suffering of the lives of these kids that we have touched the tears of God. I use to think how blessed I was to live here in America, but now I resent the things that fed my comfortable life, because they have robbed me from knowing the true heart of God. I am praying for God to bring us a great harvest of souls. I have counted the cost and I’m prepared to sacrifice even more, to suffer even more. Challenge me in this, I want you to make yourself uncomfortable this month for someone else. Take on the aguish of another person. Give of yourself sacrificially and ask God to show you His heart. Not a one time effort but endure the burden of someone for 30 days. You tell me if you can’t feel and see a part of God that you’ve never embraced before. Your Father will remain faithful and open up the deepest parts of His heart to you. The more you sacrifice for someone, the deeper that you will touch Him. You will also find that in your suffering, the real prosperity in the gospel is the gift of feeling what God feels.
In Christ & In Triumph,
Pete Orta
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Choosing the Unchosen
The doors of our home have been open to the unwanted since Nov. 4th of 2009. The mission in helping the outcasts of the world has been in our heart for ten years. In the beginning I tried to define what it would look like, but everyday up until this point I find a new group of unwanted people. From the aged-out orphans, to the young adults that found themselves homeless due to heavy drugs and alcohol.
Almost a week from today God’s spirit covered my natural mind from the early morning thoughts of fatigued or daily accomplishment. As clean as a kick in the face with a golf shoe, God’s spirit woke me with the desire to go to our local homeless shelter. Being there before, I find that as for now, it’s not my place to dig in, so this was a surprise to even Kelli. Our mission is for the younger generation right now.
I headed out to the shelter with one of my guys and started to look around the place to see why God lead me there that day. I know a lady that works there that I lead to Christ two years ago. She has been made aware of our mission and God revealed to her a young man that just arrived that day. He lost everything to drugs and alcohol and everyone around him gave up and rejected him because of his addiction and theft charges. I called him forward and asked if he knew God. He said he had been crying out to him, but God would never deliver him from his torment. I asked him if he believed that Christ could change his life and he said yes. So then I asked him to follow me to a truck our friend lent us and before he got in, he prayed the sinner’s prayer. It’s been a little over a week and this has been the first time in seven years that he has had no desire to do drugs or alcohol. He is deep in study with us here at the In Triumph House regaining a clean mind and a stronger desire for our Lord Jesus Christ.
A few days after that we got a call from a lady that desperately needed to drop her daughter off at our home. After we meet we understood the urgency. The mom had been thrown in jail for beating her daughter and could not by law be 100 feet from her. Just bringing her to our house could imprison her. The girl has had 5 miscarriages and survived a rape. Her hatred for her mom was apparent and her dad left years ago. Kelli led her in a prayer as she was crying out for God to touch her. Being here for the few days that she has, God has been covering her pain and restoring her heart.
Thank all of you for being apart of what we are doing with these young people. God has heard all of your prayers for us, and your gifts have always been delivered at the perfect time. If you ever are low on faith, call us and we’d love to share how your support moved a mountain at In Triumph.
In Christ & In Triumph
Pete Orta
